Or porn, sorry to disappoint. This is just a dating journal. But I will try to get more pictures up this weekend, some full body shots for those of you who keep asking, cuz lord knows you wouldn’t want to be wasting this much time and effort on a fat girl. Maybe I’ll wear some sexy lingerie, I’m accepting applications for photographers.

Seriously, it’s a little aggravating that people keep asking me to send more pictures. There are a bunch on the site, if you want to see more pictures you send yours first so I can base my decision about whether or not I want to correspond with you on how you look in these pictures.

OK, sorry I’m a little grumpy today. I actually have a date that I’m a little nervous about. I would tell you where it was but I don’t want any weirdos showing up there. Basically I’m going to be walking around a lot, so the decision now becomes, do I wear my cute shoes or my sensible shoes? I know what you’re all gonna say, but I think I’m going with the heels, I’ll curse myself later…

So I think some of you are under the impression that I am a man-hater/will never be pleased kind-of-girl, so I guess I can open up a little bit to you guys, let you know some of my past, some of my vulnerabilities. This post will start with my high school years.

Throughout high school and all through growing up I was painfully shy, I had friends, I was never lonely, but I was very, very quiet. I didn’t have a date to a dinner dance til my Junior year (we won’t talk about that). I played field hockey, basketball, and ran track, but I was also on the Math Team (yes I was a mathlete), the chess club, the Honors Society, I co-founded the Environmental club, and was a member of just about any other dorky club you could think of.

I am still good friends with several of my high school friends, and they tell me often how amazed they are at my transformation. “We always loved you Linnea, you’re just more lovable now” etc. So anyway I guess the point of my post is to give you guys a little background on me, it’s so easy to dehumanize and make assumptions about people on the internet, I admit I’m guilty, but the more you get to know me the more accurate your views of me will become, I have to admit I am enjoying getting to know many of you.

One last funny thing, I’ve actually had a couple of guys from my hometown email me on match. One of them acknowledged that we had grown up together, though we never really talked. The other one did not acknowledge this at all, which I found amusing. I mean we had a small class, everybody knew everybody, and it’s not like you meet a lot of Linnea’s in your life (well maybe if you live in Sweden).

I’m just wondering, was I that invisible all through grade school and high school that this guy doesn’t even remember my name? It would almost be funny to go on a date with him just to see what it would be like, but nah I don’t think so…

No more messages like this:

ps- yeah i had a couple of beers tonight….but

or this:

I AM NOT HIGH!!!!

and don’t do this to my friends:

you: I was just curious, are you going to be setting up a website like Linnea’s?

you: Ha ha I guess you really do hate talking online. You are a woman of few words.

You haven’t learned your lesson by now.

One more thing (you know who you are), chances are if she’s on my buddy list, we talk to each other, so you can stop with the “hey gorgeous are u there” and the “hey hottie” cuz we’re not interested. Seriously, you can’t hit on a girl and then hit on all her friends, it’s just not right. You gotta pick one and go for it.

I decided to try something new and join a meetup.com group for newly singles in Worcester (even though I’m not technically newly single). The only people who signed up for it were my coworker/friend and myself, so we had to cancel.

The MeetUp for newly singles for March 28th at 6 pm has been cancelled, since only me and Linnea signed up. I will generate flyers and try to get more people to sign up for next time.

Thanks Lenny, you could have just called me…

So I’m learning the steps of internet dating. First you begin by emailing, then you move up to messaging, of course only if you are interested in each other after the emailing.

Next comes the phone call, which is a huge step in this internet world. Usually you have to set up phone dates, kind of like, “Okay, I’ll call you tomorrow at 8, is that alright?”

Often times there is a second phone date, before you actually meet in person, of course in a public place. This can be followed by more phone dates and messaging, and possibly a second date, but I haven’t gotten to that point yet.

You can tell someone is new to the internet dating thing when they just send you their phone number and ask you to call if you’re interested. I’m always likes,” whoa, whoa, whoa, you’re moving way too quickly for me, slow it down.”

Ok so this is my real date 3, and as you know I ran into him the night before our official date. We know some people in common, but never really had the chance to chat before.

This is actually my first date that knows about this website (he filled out an application), so up until now I had never thought about how awkward it would be to go on a date with somebody who knows the date is going to be scrutinized the next day. I’m guessing he was on his best behavior for the occasion.

We started the night out at Vincent’s, where we had a nice conversation, the usual first date kind of chatting. It was relaxing and comfortable, and he seemed like a really nice guy. We decided to take a ride over the S.P.Q.R., a really cute Italian Café just down the road, where the conversation continued.

Not wanting the night to end we continued on to Ralph’s, a usual hangout for the both of us. He got extra points for playing a couple of Prince songs on the jukebox for me. We started chatting with another guy who continued the Prince marathon, and were just having a good time in general.

The strangest part of the date had to do with the fact that he still lives with his ex-girlfriend. He relayed this little bit of information to me early on, and on a first date I really didn’t want to probe this issue further. I’m pretty open minded but I wondered how much luck he had with other girls after he informed them of this, I don’t imagine it goes over well generally.

So in the end, it was a nice date, clearly the best so far. We’ll see if there is another one in the future, if not then at least I can say I’ve made a new friend.

Okay, so Friday night I got stood up. Uh huh, I got stood up on an internet date. Lame I know. It’s like that Friends episode where Ross is waiting in the restaurant for his blind date, but she never shows up, and the first thing everybody says to him is what if she did show up but after she saw you she left. Depressing to think about.

I guess he could have been there since it was pretty crowded at Ralph’s where we were meeting. It was a CD release party for Groupaction, and I suggested meeting there because I thought he might enjoy it.

So after standing around by myself, sipping my Malibu and coke for about 20 minutes, I decided it’s time to call in reinforcements. I call my friend Tom and tell him to get his ass down there immediately so I don’t look like such a loser, and luckily he is only five minutes away.

Before he arrives I run into my date for Saturday night. I’ve only met him once before, he is a friend of a friend, and I have to explain to him that I am there by myself because I got stood up. Luckily he doesn’t think I’m a loser (I think) and politely chats with me for a while until Tom gets there.

Some other people I know show up and I end up having a great time, despite the depressing fact that I got stood up. It’s great to have friends that can laugh at you but at the same time still make you feel loved. In the end, it opened the door for another friend of a friend to ask me out, after a great conversation, so I suppose at least I have something to look forward to now (thanks Karen).

So a few weeks ago I decided I would be silly and respond with Enrique Iglesias lyrics to some guys that were hitting me up on MySpace. For some reason I thought this was a great idea, and I thought it would be funny to see what kind of responses I got. Luckily most of the guys had a sense of humor and were silly in response. Anyway today I was messaging somebody on AIM who had come across my site and I realize he is one of the guys I sent the lyrics to. At this point I apologize and feel like a total jerk because he is a really nice guy and we have had interesting conversations. So I guess no more Enrique lyrics for me (and I’m not even a fan, I swear).

In other news (sorry my journalistic background is taking over here), I am planning a quick trip to Boston. There are a couple people I want to meet up there, and one of my best friends is in Brighton, and since I haven’t seen her in a month I was thinking an overnight trip would be nice. I would like to get together with 3 or 4 of you guys up there, but I would have to squeeze you all into 2 days. Now regularly this isn’t something I would do (obviously), but since these guys are applying through my site, and they know exactly what I am looking for I’m thinking it would be okay. They all seem nice and interesting, and I see some potential in each potential encounter. What do you guys think? Would that be okay?

Final thought for now, why do guys that I already know casually seem to find it easier to ask me out now that I have started this site? Where were you guys for the last year and a half of my single life? Why the change of heart? Okay, that’s it, hopefully you guys will be able to give me a little insight on some of this. Thanks in advance…

Keep sending the pics, I’m loving em!!!

Or as he would call it “a meeting”. My second date wasn’t new to the online dating thing, he told me he had been meeting people for years. But I will say that I definitely fell in love…with Panera’s Iced Green Tea, it was so yummy.

Other than that, my first impression of my date was that he was attractive and nicely dressed. Our conversation was interesting (although I did have to explain to him that Asian people are called Asians and not Orientals, the term he had used, my friend would have killed me if I didn’t point this out). He was very respectful, intelligent, and nice. After chatting at the café for a little while we decided to head somewhere else.

My date had already informed me that he was not a drinker, and as sad as it sounds I could not think of any options in the city for that time of night that didn’t involve alcohol. It didn’t matter anyway because he was pretty set on going to Jillian’s and playing video games.

I kind of figured this was a test to see how spontaneous and open-minded I was, but I was down for the arcade. We played racing games, which are my favorite, some air hockey, and then against my better judgment I played the dancing game, not sure what it’s called, spiked heels and all (he really wanted to play and I figured at that point what the hell).

He also really wanted to play pinball and the skateboarding game, of course I tell him to go right ahead, and as I’m standing there holding his jacket while he’s doing whatever skateboarding tricks you do on that kind of game I realize I feel like his mother, or possibly his older sister.

I will admit I did have a good time, but there was definitely no chemistry between the two of us. I’m sure he felt the same way. Our goodbye consisted of a “Thanks, talk to you later” and that was it, not even a handshake.