I stumbled across this site today titled True Dater, it lets you leave reviews of dates that you have been on from Match, JDate, American Singles, or Yahoo Personals. Of course the first thing I had to do was look up and see if I had been reviewed. Big sense of relief that I have not yet, I know it’s hypocritcal, but it’s bound to happen sooner or later, especially after this post.

I have outright admitted when I am a bad date, always of course when I feel no chemistry and it’s just easier not to call back (I know it’s a bitchy thing to do). But of course I’m sure there were plenty of times when I thought I was being a good date, but was sadly mistaken. It would be interesting to see what others actually thought of me as a date, and I guess I’ve heard enough criticism so far that it probably wouldn’t bother me much anyway.

The main point of this True Dater is for the online daters to let other online daters know if a person is who they say they are in their profile. For example, do they look like the pictures, are they really athletic, do they actually have a great sense of humor, things like that.

The point of the site is obviously a great idea, but you have to wonder how many people go on there for revenge after not getting a call back, or getting a bad review themselves. If I had a good date with somebody I know for sure that I wouldn’t be making it easier for him to get a slew of other dates. I would obviously wanna keep him all to myself. Now I’m gonna have to start checking this site weekly to see if somebody has decided to chew me up and spit me out.

Another thing I found while poking around on the net today, it turns out May was International Masturbation Month. Now this just makes me ask myself, why didn’t they advertise this more? Just my luck I discover this on the last day of the month…what time is it anyways? Oh I gotta go ; )

Some people that I know were having a conversation recently about the booty call, and how over the years it’s changed from an actual call to a simple text message. Their thoughts were that the point of the booty text is most likely to avoid the embarrassment of actually having to hear someone turn you down, and at the same time it makes it easier for the receiver to say yes without actually having to speak the words.

I have already received my share of late night texts thanks to my site (particularly from date 1) and while I wouldn’t necessarily call them booty calls, I will say that if this guy didn’t have a good amount of alcohol in his system he probably wouldn’t have sent them. This past weekend I also received my first actual drunken, middle of the night phone call from someone I gave my number to over the internet. It was 3:30 Sunday morning and I rolled over, saw who was calling and turned my ringer off. Lucky for me the guy didn’t leave a message.

The number of middle of the night phone calls and text messages I have received has definitely died down since my college years, which is a good thing, but several of my friends still seem to get quite a few of the drunken messages. I wouldn’t call the messages booty calls, but they are annoying none the less. I guess this is probably directly correlated to the number of drunks you have as friends.

One other thing that I can point out is that if you do send a late night text message, or booty call, there will actually be hard evidence of the offense the next day, in your outbox and the receiver’s inbox. Which is also true for private messages and emails. Those actually make no sense to me. Why send an email or a private message to someone in the middle of the night, when chances are they are not online, and you know you will be embarrassed about it the next day. I guess this goes back to the contributing factor of alcohol.

I think I’m gonna keep all these messages I’ve been getting, perhaps I can use them as blackmail at sometime in the future!

After my recent dating disasters I decided to go on a date with someone I was actually a little iffy about. He was a yoga instructor, and seemed to be very sensitive and caring both online and over the phone. Of course I figured if he could do any of the things that I used to be able to do when I practiced yoga regularly it couldn’t be all bad. I realize now that it was probably a subconscious way of making sure I didn’t get hurt.

I know that I am not an overly sensitive person, but I have to say I have never felt as insensitive as I did sitting across from this guy sipping coffee. He seemed to want to save the world, and all the decisions he made seemed to somehow make his surroundings a little better. It was the weekend so the most profound decision I had made that day was whether to wear my hair up or down.

He was also very in touch with his spiritual side and told me about his meditations and his beliefs. I honestly felt lost listening to him. I’m a live and let live kinda girl, and I don’t really put a lot of thought into my spirit or beliefs.

Conversation was a little awkward at times, I’m thinking it had something to do with the fact that whenever I spoke I felt like this guy was getting more and more disgusted. Luckily I had been a yoga student for most of my college years, so I could follow him when he talked about it. I was actually interested in the different forms of yoga and what certain postures were supposed to help with. He made me want to start going to class again, I always did feel great when I did it regularly.

The rest of the conversation seemed to do with incredibly intellectual things like world politics and religion, or the war. I can’t say I ever got the chance to relax, I almost felt like I was listening to a lecture. He was obviously an intelligent guy, but he seemed to need to prove that to me, or perhaps he was testing me to see if I could keep up.

I’m not sure if I saw the real him or not, I’m guessing probably not. At least I hope not, I really can’t imagine what it must be like to be that serious all the time. He definitely did not see the real me, I didn’t have a chance to joke with him or even spill my drink on his lap. I felt tense the entire time. There always seemed to be a pressing question about how I felt on this issue or what I thought about this.

This guy was definitely nice, and caring, and sensitive, and I hope he can change the world for the better, but I’m not sure if he had room in his head for other points of view. He was so opinionated it didn’t feel like he would be able to accept the opinions of anyone else. But maybe I’ll check out one of his classes sometime, that’s at least one way my future relationships will improve from this encounter.

I recently noticed an ad on a website I use often and I have to say it surprised me a bit. There were several other ads in the column including a free personals site and a Christian singles site. At the very bottom was the ad for background checks. Of course, like any other internet user out there I knew that these sites exist, but their particular approach is what I really found surprising. “Check you partner” was the hook, and then it asked “Is your date too good to be true?”

Now I know we’ve all dug up things in past relationships that we probably weren’t too thrilled with, I mean nobody’s perfect, but are people really crazy enough to pull a background check on somebody they’re going on a date with? Has the world really come to this? I understand that it’s a crazy world, and there are some real weirdos out there, but isn’t that what precautions are for? Things like meet at a public place, watch your drink, let people know where you are and who you are meeting up with are generally the kind of measures I would take before going out on a date.

I guess it just kind of freaks me out that somebody can look up so much personal information on me, not that I really have anything to hide, but I really don’t want the world being able to track me down. Not to mention it freaks me out a little bit that there are people out there that would actually consider doing this to a date.

It seems everyone is super busy these days, making plans seems close to impossible at times. If all of the plans that I have made with guys actually were accomplished I would probably have gone on about double the number of dates that I’ve already been on. I’m not quite sure what exactly goes wrong in the process of making plans, though I will admit I most likely am a huge contributing factor. My follow through isn’t exactly the best at times, especially when I am busy.

So with the pace of the world these days it seems almost impossible that you will actually have the opportunity to meet a potential significant other, never mind get to know them enough to realize that you actually want them to be your significant other. This dating thing has been very time consuming, and while it is fun the majority of the time, it can also be tiring and frustrating.

I guess I’m gonna have to force myself to focus more on my follow through. Make sure I seal the deal so to speak, and stop wasting my time on men that keep making tentative plans that just never seem to work out.

Okay, now I need some chocolate. My PMS must be kicking in early this month…watch out!

This Plenty of Fish website still amazes me. Is anyone else out there on this thing? The messages are unbelievable and the number of instant messenger requests I get every time I sign on is unbelievable still. I feel like all the lonely people in the world get together and go on this site (no offense, I’m on it too).

Here’s what I got when I checked my messages today:

33 6′3″ 200lbs very fit..outgoing sarcastic…lets get together and have a few martinis..and if all works out…I’ll be pulling that thong to the side and…………..

email me

another one:

will u wear thigh highs

and this guy pissed me off for a couple of reasons:

Hi there!

Thank you and hoping to be your friend!

I think it has something to do with the fact that he says physical appearance is not the most important quality, and then he tells me he hopes to be my “friend” but yet he still requests a picture, even though he has already seen several pictures that are up on the site, and he doesn’t have any. What do these guys think?

Oh and something else I figured out about this site, they have forums. I stumbled across one that was titled “Bad Blow Jobs” and one of the guys who messaged me seemed to have a lot to say on that thread. I guess I’m just not quite sure why these people go on here, but being part of it is kinda depressing.

This was another match.com date. It was definitely a blah date, possibly because I am feeling blah towards men. There was nothing there, no spark, no butterflies, no physical attraction, no mental attraction, nothing. The guy was nice, but not overly nice, he seemed to have a sense of humor, but he also seemed a little reserved. I guess he just wasn’t what I’m looking for, whatever that is.

It probably would be easier for me in my search if I actually knew what I was looking for, but right when I think I’ve found it I always seem to end up surprised or disappointed. My “type” in the past never seemed to be quite right for me, not to mention the majority of my exes I wouldn’t even consider being friends with now, so I don’t know what I was thinking at the time.

This guy seemed a little over excited to be out on a date too, which was actually kind of annoying. Every time I signed onto AIM he would message me immediately, once he had my phone number he called a little too much, and expected to stay on the phone a little too long, and on this date I think he expected a little too much from me. Maybe it’s just because I didn’t feel like putting in the effort, especially since I felt nothing for this guy.

I obviously made the mistake of even agreeing to meet up with him since I was already annoyed by the amount of contact he insisted on having. But I felt that I should give him a chance, and that’s what I did, and now I live to regret it. The date wasn’t even that bad actually, it’s just that I really wasn’t in the mood to go out, and on top of that I already had decided that this guy probably wasn’t what I was looking for, and in person he just confirmed that.

Now I’ve already got three emails, about 10 instant messenger conversations, a phone call and a voice mail, and it’s only been a few days since we went out. I guess what they say about playing hard to get is a little true, maybe if this guy didn’t seem so available he would be more appealing. At the same time, I think it also has to do with the fact that this guy always seems to be around. Whenever I sign on he is there and wants to chat, this makes me think he doesn’t have anything else to do, which makes me think he is boring.

There is nothing worse than a boring date, at least if it’s good or bad you can feel a real emotion about it. But a bland date just makes you feel blah.

Why is it that right when you are feeling completely anti-relationship that the only thing playing on the radio seems to be sappy love songs.

What a jerk. Turns out this great guy (Date 12) read my last post and had to come clean. He is in a relationship, but of course they are going through a tough patch. He doesn’t want to hurt either of us so he doesn’t think we should see each other again, at least until it is taken care of.

I will never understand why guys (excuse my pluralization of that term, I’m just venting, I know you are not all like that) think this is okay. I know there’s the possibility that his girlfriend is doing the same to him, but it certainly wasn’t fair to me either way. But of course, life isn’t fair, so I live and learn.

Another thing I don’t understand is how a person can start dating someone who is still seeing someone else. What do they think is gonna happen to them in the end. Take Britney and Kevin for instance, I mean does anybody think that is really gonna work? And why would anyone feel alright being the other woman?

I was chatting on aol with this guy yesterday evening. He saw my profile on match and decided to message me. He seems really nice and we were just chatting a little bit about dating. It didn’t even occur to me that he didn’t know about my website, so when he started talking about how some people are just good to be friends with, because there are no romantic vibes, I mentioned date 16. He obviously was like what the hell are you talking about, so of course I had to explain at that point. At least he was cool with the idea.

I guess I need to pay closer attention to who I’m talking to next time. Oh and no I haven’t blocked all you guys on aol, I just haven’t had time to sign on lately, but I know how you all get worried.